What do you think happens to you once you die?

I personally believe once we die everything becomes nothing, never there, no concussion, no awarness but what I do hope does happen once we die is choose our reality - whether it be living in pandora or bikini bottom, you make up your own reality for your next life, that’d be cool lol
 

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You should look up quantum immortality!
Personally, I think we just go back to our essence. I think we are (part of) the universe, so our energy or "soul" simply goes back there :)
 
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I've never really been able to form any kind of clear picture as to what it's like. I find the idea of "inherited" memory interesting - not an afterlife in the traditional Judeo-Christian sense, but rather that particularly strong or powerful feelings, instincts or memories that are deeply imprinted onto us can, unknown to us, be passed along to others.

Those others are those who come after us, and who share some kind of kinship, possibly only in a spiritual sense, who may not be close genetic relatives, or even be aware of each others existence at all, form a kind of "super-family" of people sharing these impressions as an ephemeral kind of collective memory, nature and instinct across time, distance and families.

Sorry if this is super unclear and not well explained... struggled to get this into words.
 
I find myself enjoying some Alan Kardec ideas, if there is an afterlife, I tend to see it as very similar to our reality here on Earth, looks more "natural" to me to see things in this way. But I have hard times trying to form a decent opinion o that :P
 

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Coming back to this as I was thinking about it recently, and just wanted to clarify some ideas. When I speak of inherited memory I don't think of detailed memories as in specific regression or recollections, or even any memories at all - but rather pass on instinctive reactions at a fight or flight level. One thing that made me interested in the idea is that of phobias, without any obvious root in our learned experience. For example, my grandmother had a fear of deep water, as she nearly drowned as a child, so it's a clear learned survival instinct to avoid it. I don't have it and was never in a similar situation.

However, I have a deep seated, existential terror / dread of starvation - even as a child, despite me never experiencing (at that time anyway) any food stress whatsoever. It's a completely random phobia with absolutely no basis in any learned behavior of mine, which gives rise to my theory that such behavior can be inherited or imparted through very remote, near random genetic ancestry (since no relatives I know of ever experienced such stress either) - and that by virtue of this, through our experiences, fear and reactions, create a sort of evolutionary "ghost" (hey, random descendant of mine in the far future. You're going to suffer fear of cows based on the fact I'm scared of them because I got chased by one as a kid, and I'm sh*t scared of them as a result! Have fun with that!)
 
instinctive reactions at a fight or flight level
Also otherwise known as our biological reflexes that in principle have nothing to do with memory :)

However, I have a deep seated, existential terror / dread of starvation - even as a child, despite me never experiencing (at that time anyway) any food stress whatsoever. It's a completely random phobia with absolutely no basis in any learned behavior of mine, which gives rise to my theory that such behavior can be inherited or imparted through very remote, near random genetic ancestry (since no relatives I know of ever experienced such stress either) - and that by virtue of this, through our experiences, fear and reactions, create a sort of evolutionary "ghost"
Maybe you were once very hungry as a kid and although you don't remember it, your subconscious did?
This evolutionary ghost theory is something I have never heard before :). Reading your story, it was reincarnation that actually came to my mind. Basically your soul in a previous body could have experienced starvation, hence it made an imprint on you, even if it has nothing to do with this life.

I would say I am pretty neutral on this subject in general, but I have experienced things and heard stories that are hard to explain without considering reincarnation as a factor in them.

In particular, I have some very early memories (or memories of memories) of being left at day care as a 3 year old, where I had an irrational fear of being left behind by my mother, even though that was never actually going to happen considering my mother's personality. Then I have another memory from day care where, with the other children playing, I had at one point the irrational urge to protect myself and tore a support leg from this toy kitchen. I remember clearly that I thought this thing looked like some kind of gun that I could use. I took it and hid under a bed until the 'battle' was over. I should point out that I wasn't being harassed by the other children; rather none of them understood what I was doing, and afterwards I probably didn't understand it myself. I should also point out that at that time nobody had realized yet that I had relatively poor eyesight and couldn't really see what was happening around me, nor could I watch television properly, etc. So you let me ask you, how does a 3 year old, who has never seen a gun before, not in real life, not on television, who has such poor eyesight that he can't distinguish people's faces from more than a meter away, have an instinctive reaction to seeing the silhouette of an assault rifle and thinks that he is in some kind of battle?

To add to the above, I found out in later life that I am a pretty good marksman (with corrective glasses obviously) although I neither have real interest in it, nor have had any training. But still, somehow, I have talent for it. So I can't help but wonder if I was a soldier in a previous life.

Another story, which my parents told me, was that when I was very young, I often did not behave like a child. They had a friend who allegedly had a lot of spiritual insights. This person told them back then that I was apparently an 'old soul' that was confusing previous lives with this one.
 
I feel like...when we die...we just sleep.
I think we would be kind of floating; not fully dead but not fully alive either. It's like...well it's like going back to the womb i guess? Instead of being born again, we're just in a constant state of rest.
 
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Also otherwise known as our biological reflexes that in principle have nothing to do with memory :)


Maybe you were once very hungry as a kid and although you don't remember it, your subconscious did?
This evolutionary ghost theory is something I have never heard before :). Reading your story, it was reincarnation that actually came to my mind. Basically your soul in a previous body could have experienced starvation, hence it made an imprint on you, even if it has nothing to do with this life.

I would say I am pretty neutral on this subject in general, but I have experienced things and heard stories that are hard to explain without considering reincarnation as a factor in them.

In particular, I have some very early memories (or memories of memories) of being left at day care as a 3 year old, where I had an irrational fear of being left behind by my mother, even though that was never actually going to happen considering my mother's personality. Then I have another memory from day care where, with the other children playing, I had at one point the irrational urge to protect myself and tore a support leg from this toy kitchen. I remember clearly that I thought this thing looked like some kind of gun that I could use. I took it and hid under a bed until the 'battle' was over. I should point out that I wasn't being harassed by the other children; rather none of them understood what I was doing, and afterwards I probably didn't understand it myself. I should also point out that at that time nobody had realized yet that I had relatively poor eyesight and couldn't really see what was happening around me, nor could I watch television properly, etc. So you let me ask you, how does a 3 year old, who has never seen a gun before, not in real life, not on television, who has such poor eyesight that he can't distinguish people's faces from more than a meter away, have an instinctive reaction to seeing the silhouette of an assault rifle and thinks that he is in some kind of battle?

To add to the above, I found out in later life that I am a pretty good marksman (with corrective glasses obviously) although I neither have real interest in it, nor have had any training. But still, somehow, I have talent for it. So I can't help but wonder if I was a soldier in a previous life.

Another story, which my parents told me, was that when I was very young, I often did not behave like a child. They had a friend who allegedly had a lot of spiritual insights. This person told them back then that I was apparently an 'old soul' that was confusing previous lives with this one.
I agree with much of what you said. Reincarnation has always sense to me. We are *literally* beings of energy, and energy can neither be created or destroyed, it just is...my ex-husband said that to me when my dear Mom passed on. I was so distraught and in so much emotional pain, I couldn't eat, definitely couldn't sleep, and when he said that to me, it brought me comfort. My Mom was still around, just not in the form I was used to. "All energy is only borrowed, and one day you have to give it back."💙💙💙
 
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Also otherwise known as our biological reflexes that in principle have nothing to do with memory :)
Yeah, it easily could be - but I think if it was solely instinctual at the basal level of the species it would be universal, whereas phobias seem much more random that that, which makes me wonder about some recessive distantly inherited quality locked away in an obscure part of our genome dismissed as redundant (about 75% of our total DNA is often dismissed as such)
Maybe you were once very hungry as a kid and although you don't remember it, your subconscious did?
This evolutionary ghost theory is something I have never heard before :). Reading your story, it was reincarnation that actually came to my mind. Basically your soul in a previous body could have experienced starvation, hence it made an imprint on you, even if it has nothing to do with this life.

Although I'm either spiritual or religious (depending on how you slice it), I don't believe in a supernarual realm like gods or species like angels, ghosts or demons, or that our consciousness/individuality survives our death. I imagine that it's somewhat like the dreamless, instantaneous yet also indeterminate "void" you have under general anesthetic, without the waking up. It's hard to imagine complete unawareness/unconsciousness as we only remember that "waking up" part, which is why I struggle to imagine it (it's for this reason I really struggle with meditation, I suspect - "Let your mind go blank" - Yeah, not that easy, it turns out).

That said I'm also a total hypocrite, as I every time I fish, snare or spear some poor creature, I have a little prayer that I always recite. That's not weird itself as I pray, meditate and worship a lot, but it's the only one I have that invokes the concept of a spirit or soul that lives on, and doesn't actualy gel with my beliefs. In reality, although not conciously so, I guess it's to help me deal with the sting of taking the life of another animal who is ultimately no different to me, even though I know deep down that death is part of life. Today I eat feral goat. Tomorrow a shark might eat me. To quote the musical, Rent. "Today for you, tomorrow for me"

I would say I am pretty neutral on this subject in general, but I have experienced things and heard stories that are hard to explain without considering reincarnation as a factor in them.

In particular, I have some very early memories (or memories of memories) of being left at day care as a 3 year old, where I had an irrational fear of being left behind by my mother, even though that was never actually going to happen considering my mother's personality. Then I have another memory from day care where, with the other children playing, I had at one point the irrational urge to protect myself and tore a support leg from this toy kitchen. I remember clearly that I thought this thing looked like some kind of gun that I could use. I took it and hid under a bed until the 'battle' was over. I should point out that I wasn't being harassed by the other children; rather none of them understood what I was doing, and afterwards I probably didn't understand it myself. I should also point out that at that time nobody had realized yet that I had relatively poor eyesight and couldn't really see what was happening around me, nor could I watch television properly, etc. So you let me ask you, how does a 3 year old, who has never seen a gun before, not in real life, not on television, who has such poor eyesight that he can't distinguish people's faces from more than a meter away, have an instinctive reaction to seeing the silhouette of an assault rifle and thinks that he is in some kind of battle?

To add to the above, I found out in later life that I am a pretty good marksman (with corrective glasses obviously) although I neither have real interest in it, nor have had any training. But still, somehow, I have talent for it. So I can't help but wonder if I was a soldier in a previous life.

Another story, which my parents told me, was that when I was very young, I often did not behave like a child. They had a friend who allegedly had a lot of spiritual insights. This person told them back then that I was apparently an 'old soul' that was confusing previous lives with this one.

That's really interesting... did any of your family/ancestors do anything in the military in the past?
 
I agree with much of what you said. Reincarnation has always sense to me. We are *literally* beings of energy, and energy can neither be created or destroyed
Reincarnation and the idea that we are actually "energy beings" in a kind of never ending circle, makes the most sense to me as well to explain what happens after death.

Yeah, it easily could be - but I think if it was solely instinctual at the basal level of the species it would be universal, whereas phobias seem much more random that that, which makes me wonder about some recessive distantly inherited quality locked away in an obscure part of our genome dismissed as redundant (about 75% of our total DNA is often dismissed as such)
Indeed, it could be genetics related, but that would be the results of many generations, I would expect, instead of one recent ancestor, like your grandmother, etc.

Although I'm either spiritual or religious (depending on how you slice it), I don't believe in a supernarual realm like gods or species like angels, ghosts or demons, or that our consciousness/individuality survives our death.

That said I'm also a total hypocrite, as I every time I fish, snare or spear some poor creature, I have a little prayer that I always recite. That's not weird itself as I pray, meditate and worship a lot, but it's the only one I have that invokes the concept of a spirit or soul that lives on, and doesn't actualy gel with my beliefs.
I am somewhat confused here. You say you are spiritual and that you pray and worship, but you don't really believe in a supernatural realm, nor in the idea of a soul. So is it nature that you pray to / worship?

I was raised to be more or less Catholic, though it was simply the norm at that time where I lived and I never felt there was any point to anything the religion said or did. It was all just fairy tales to me that were obscuring the truth. Basically all people I knew while growing up thought of Catholicism in the same way. Only old people went to church and they did so "because it was the proper thing to do" not because they were really into the religion itself.

I would say I am not at all spiritual. I am more a person of science and technology. The only spiritual belief I have is that there are things out there that are not yet explained and perhaps they never will. I do believe in reincarnation, ghosts and other energy beings that were never incarnated as humans (call them demons if you want). To me, it is not realistic to think that all religion is total nonsense. But the way religions are presented is simply a way of clouding the truth, making money and manipulating people by the ego-trippers of every generation. So if we leave all that behind, maybe we can find out the truth beneath it all.

That's really interesting... did any of your family/ancestors do anything in the military in the past?
My grandfather from my mother's side fought as a private in the "Police Actions" in 1949 against the independence movement of Indonesia, which was a Dutch colony at the time. He was conscripted into the army and didn't like it at all that he had to go there and fight. He remained silent about his experiences there until he died, so we never learned what exactly he had to face there. He died when I was 10 years old from a stomach ulcer that turned into cancer. My mother believes the fact that he never talked about his experiences and always carried them with him "in his stomach" was a factor in developing this ulcer. We later learned from one of his platoon members that he himself (but not my grandfather) was once chased by a guerilla fighter wielding a machete. He shot the person, who subsequently fled, but they never found the body. In turn, my grandfather's comrade had nightmares for years about this person running after him since they never found the body and he never knew if he had really killed him. So maybe that sheds some light on what they were facing there.

My grandfather from my father's side worked on an army base as a mechanical specialist, but he was never sent abroad, nor did he see real action. He worked a lot with dangerous paints, cleaning chemicals, and asbestos and died of lung cancer years before I was born.

Going further back, I believe at least one of my great-grandfathers helped to dig a defensive channel in preparation for World War 2.

Before that, basically all my ancestors were factory workers or farmers. So, I don't believe that I "inherited" any of the experiences through genetics.

If I had to guess, I would say I was reincarnated from someone far outside of my current family and probably from someone who died somehwere like the late 80s.
 
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I am somewhat confused here. You say you are spiritual and that you pray and worship, but you don't really believe in a supernatural realm, nor in the idea of a soul. So is it nature that you pray to / worship?

Yep, pretty much. Earth/Gaia/Nature worship tends to fall into two broad families of traditions - the animists, whose various traditions hold that every living thing (and sometimes natural forces as well such as storms etc) have a supernatural or spiritual aspects or soul, and the naturalists who generally don't, which includes dear old me :)

I was raised to be more or less Catholic, though it was simply the norm at that time where I lived and I never felt there was any point to anything the religion said or did. It was all just fairy tales to me that were obscuring the truth. Basically all people I knew while growing up thought of Catholicism in the same way. Only old people went to church and they did so "because it was the proper thing to do" not because they were really into the religion itself.

I think that's the experience of so many westerners. We call it a Judeo-Christian culture but I think, outside of places like the USA it's not terribly accurate except in the most generalised idea of a vague cultural inheritance - much as how most people still put down "Christianity" on the census form, but probably have never set foot in a church. That said, my family upbringing was somewhat unusual in that it was explicitly Pantheist, as my parents were huge fans of the Romantic poets, especially Shelley and Wordsworth. However they took a more cosmic or abstracted view of nature as a quasi supernatural energy or force, whereas my beliefs are much more Earthly. I imagine it as the Pantheist looks to the stars for answers, while the Earth/Gaia worshipper looks to the forest, and the Abrahamic looks in the mirror.


I would say I am not at all spiritual. I am more a person of science and technology. The only spiritual belief I have is that there are things out there that are not yet explained and perhaps they never will. I do believe in reincarnation, ghosts and other energy beings that were never incarnated as humans (call them demons if you want). To me, it is not realistic to think that all religion is total nonsense. But the way religions are presented is simply a way of clouding the truth, making money and manipulating people by the ego-trippers of every generation. So if we leave all that behind, maybe we can find out the truth beneath it all.

I find the idea of ghosts as being humans that were never born, instead of being ancestors, a really interesting take - I've never come across that before. Does that mean they could be humans in the future? It's interesting to imagine them as remembering their time as ghosts in the kind of way you imagine reincarnation - a past life, but not quite.

I agree that it demands a degree of arrogance that only humans are capable of to take the hard atheist ("Dawkbro") position that these things cannot possibly exist. Our knowledge is far too limited to make such grandiose claims. My feeling is they don't, but if other beliefs hold that they do, that's fine. For the most part, my tradition doesn't concern itself with the "big picture" questions like the forming of the cosmos, but does hold death and the finality of it as fundamental to understanding the process of life itself both individually, but also at the collective level of all life on Earth - something I envisage for Earth/Gaia as analogous to the necessity of shedding old fur and skin to allow for the survival and renewal of the wider organism, and by breaking down our body after death to recycle the material and nutrients invested in us back into new life as being like a snake eating their own shedded skin.

Despite me being not being the most gregarious human in existence, I do actually belong to a community for my faith, to discuss specific ideas and thoughts, collaborate on things of value to us as people with shared values and ideals, and for the big celebrations once in a while... but when I need actual spiritual solace, that's very much a solitary thing for me, and I scuttle off into the forest by myself.. forest bathe, swim, meditate, pray, or just to reflect in silence and seek communion. Or burn the leeches off my ankles...whichever.

Though I find some institutions like the RC or Anglican churches to be deeply problematic, I recognise and respect their skill and ability in what they do. I just wish they'd use it for good.


My grandfather from my mother's side fought as a private in the "Police Actions" in 1949 against the independence movement of Indonesia, which was a Dutch colony at the time.

That would have been harsh. My ex was from Timor Leste and I learned a lot about Indonesia through them.... none of it was good :( - I can imagine why he never wanted to talk about it, but still a horrible thing to have to take unspoken and unrelieved to the grave. That's a heck of a burden.
 
Yeah, it easily could be - but I think if it was solely instinctual at the basal level of the species it would be universal, whereas phobias seem much more random that that, which makes me wonder about some recessive distantly inherited quality locked away in an obscure part of our genome dismissed as redundant (about 75% of our total DNA is often dismissed as such)


Although I'm either spiritual or religious (depending on how you slice it), I don't believe in a supernarual realm like gods or species like angels, ghosts or demons, or that our consciousness/individuality survives our death. I imagine that it's somewhat like the dreamless, instantaneous yet also indeterminate "void" you have under general anesthetic, without the waking up. It's hard to imagine complete unawareness/unconsciousness as we only remember that "waking up" part, which is why I struggle to imagine it (it's for this reason I really struggle with meditation, I suspect - "Let your mind go blank" - Yeah, not that easy, it turns out).

That said I'm also a total hypocrite, as I every time I fish, snare or spear some poor creature, I have a little prayer that I always recite. That's not weird itself as I pray, meditate and worship a lot, but it's the only one I have that invokes the concept of a spirit or soul that lives on, and doesn't actualy gel with my beliefs. In reality, although not conciously so, I guess it's to help me deal with the sting of taking the life of another animal who is ultimately no different to me, even though I know deep down that death is part of life. Today I eat feral goat. Tomorrow a shark might eat me. To quote the musical, Rent. "Today for you, tomorrow for me"



That's really interesting... did any of your family/ancestors do anything in the military in the past?
I love it that you have this little prayer that you say when you fish, snare, or spear something. I liken it to what Neytiri does with the viperwolf that she kills to protect Jake Sully in the 1st Avatar when she speaks "maway tsmukan" over the animal. I love that part so much, she is essentially performing last rights for the animal, and sending it's spirit off in peace. 💙💙💙
 

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I love it that you have this little prayer that you say when you fish, snare, or spear something. I liken it to what Neytiri does with the viperwolf that she kills to protect Jake Sully in the 1st Avatar when she speaks "maway tsmukan" over the animal. I love that part so much, she is essentially performing last rights for the animal, and sending it's spirit off in peace. 💙💙💙
That's a sweet thought and def makes me feel better about myself! 💙- That said I really don't feel too bad about the cats... when you see what they do to the native birds it's just a case of "Nah, f*** them, murdering bastards." They are super effective at hunting.... way too effective for our birds that just don't know how to cope and adapt to them.
 
That said, my family upbringing was somewhat unusual in that it was explicitly Pantheist, as my parents were huge fans of the Romantic poets, especially Shelley and Wordsworth. However they took a more cosmic or abstracted view of nature as a quasi supernatural energy or force, whereas my beliefs are much more Earthly. I imagine it as the Pantheist looks to the stars for answers, while the Earth/Gaia worshipper looks to the forest, and the Abrahamic looks in the mirror.
That is definitely interesting to read. Indeed one's upbringing does do a lot to shape one's worldview.

I find the idea of ghosts as being humans that were never born, instead of being ancestors, a really interesting take - I've never come across that before. Does that mean they could be humans in the future? It's interesting to imagine them as remembering their time as ghosts in the kind of way you imagine reincarnation - a past life, but not quite.
I need to clarify. I would say my definition of ghosts is spirits that were human once, while 'demons' (for a lack of better term) were never human and perhaps never will be. I don't know how I would categorize a spirit that would at a later time be incarnated as a human. I guess both terms could apply.

I have this idea that it wouldn't be unreasonable to think that spirits are able to split and merge. Like when people talk about having found their soulmate (two halves of one spirit reunited), while other people stay alone their entire lives and are content (a previously merged spirit incarnated in one body).

but when I need actual spiritual solace, that's very much a solitary thing for me, and I scuttle off into the forest by myself.. forest bathe, swim, meditate, pray, or just to reflect in silence and seek communion.
Your stories remind me of something. Like said before I don't consider myself to be spiritual, but several years ago I had a rather noteworthy experience that I can't ignore. Basically I was sitting on the couch watching TV, and something happened and forgive me for using technological comparisons to explain it, but I cannot otherwise find the right words. Basically I picked up some kind of energy. It was completely unexpected and I can't explain where it came from. Firstly I felt a lot of heavy emotions; not from myself but from some kind of group or collective. It was as if I had been tuned like a radio tuner to just the right frequency and then the volume knob was turned up to maximum.

I felt this extreme dread of something terrible that was going to happen or was already happening (hard to tell the difference). It felt like those were the feelings of an entire community. At the same time I began seeing an image in my mind that was more clear and more intense than what my eyes were seeing in front of me. I saw an image of the sun shining down on a grand and almost gold-colored oak pillar that had a distinctive large U-shape at its top. The forest behind it was also gold-colored from the sun shining down on it. On the horizon the sky was a very threatening dark blue, almost black, like when there is a very severe storm approaching.

As this strange sensation evaporated, and I think took a good five minutes before that happened, I eventually realized that I had the knowledge to interpret this image. Having read about Germanic history years before already, I realized I must have seen the great Irminsul of the Saxons somewhere around the year 770 and had felt the dread of the Saxons just before it was destroyed by Charlemagne's forces.

I haven't experienced anything like this a second time and I believe this was some kind of residual energy from that very traumatic event of which very little is actually known in proper history. They don't even know how the Irminsul originally looked. What I saw didn't look like any of the modern depictions or recreations. For background info, see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irminsul

Maybe what I saw wasn't related to the Irminsul at all, but I felt as if the energy had sought me out because I was able to interpret what it was about.

I haven't done much with this experience, other than to ensure that my father didn't saw up this very old 4 meter long oak pillar he had lying around. Somehow I felt like maybe one day I would recreate the Irminsul based on what I had seen that day.
 
I agree with much of what you said. Reincarnation has always sense to me. We are *literally* beings of energy, and energy can neither be created or destroyed, it just is...my ex-husband said that to me when my dear Mom passed on. I was so distraught and in so much emotional pain, I couldn't eat, definitely couldn't sleep, and when he said that to me, it brought me comfort. My Mom was still around, just not in the form I was used to. "All energy is only borrowed, and one day you have to give it back."💙💙💙
I really much agree with what the both of you said , i have so much to say but i'm overthinking again and my thoughts are blurry meses , i'll come back and edit this when i'll feel better .
 

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I need to clarify. I would say my definition of ghosts is spirits that were human once, while 'demons' (for a lack of better term) were never human and perhaps never will be. I don't know how I would categorize a spirit that would at a later time be incarnated as a human. I guess both terms could apply.

I have this idea that it wouldn't be unreasonable to think that spirits are able to split and merge. Like when people talk about having found their soulmate (two halves of one spirit reunited), while other people stay alone their entire lives and are content (a previously merged spirit incarnated in one body).

That's a really interesting idea for soulmates and lone wolves. I've not come accross it before - that facinates me. Did you come to that perspective yourself, or is it based on part of a wider worldview?

As this strange sensation evaporated, and I think took a good five minutes before that happened, I eventually realized that I had the knowledge to interpret this image. Having read about Germanic history years before already, I realized I must have seen the great Irminsul of the Saxons somewhere around the year 770 and had felt the dread of the Saxons just before it was destroyed by Charlemagne's forces.

I haven't experienced anything like this a second time and I believe this was some kind of residual energy from that very traumatic event of which very little is actually known in proper history. They don't even know how the Irminsul originally looked. What I saw didn't look like any of the modern depictions or recreations. For background info, see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irminsul

Maybe what I saw wasn't related to the Irminsul at all, but I felt as if the energy had sought me out because I was able to interpret what it was about.

I haven't done much with this experience, other than to ensure that my father didn't saw up this very old 4 meter long oak pillar he had lying around. Somehow I felt like maybe one day I would recreate the Irminsul based on what I had seen that day.

I've never heard of Irminsul before and this sent me down a real internet rabbit hole... no regrets! Thanks for that. Do you just feel no real interest in following this experience to see if it leads to anything, or feel a bit wary about it, given the emotional feelings from it were quite dark/dread filled? I could see how it could be kinda confronting.

I do remember having a "dark" feeling once coming back from a hike. The whole weekend had been absolutely magical. I'd had a excellent forest bathe, and about 4 hours into the hike back to my vehicle. I was in an envrionment I normally find relaxing and blissful - subtropical rainforest, plenty of water, shade and signs of a natural trail to follow. 99% of the time, I'd never want to leave. I'd lost my GPS signal, but that's not unusual in hilly rainforest envrionments, where the canopy and hills combine to make getting a fix difficult, so frustrating, but not unusual or frightening - and I was very familiar with this forest and the terrain, and knew the way.

All of a sudden I started having an overwhelming feeling of there being a predator out there that did not belong, and had a sensation of mourning or melanchony. It's not that it was specifically hunting or seeking to prey on me, but that there was a powerful creature invading the envrionment, unseen but powerful, and I would still be in danger. I started to feel quite panicked and was obsessively checking my six and pushing the pace, getting hot and tired, and began to get paranoid and imagined (not a hallucination, but imagining a weird nightmare scenario) that the terrain and landscape would shift and stretch and that I'd never be able to get out of the valley I was in. It was a really weird feeling, and a thought kept pushing back into my mind of my grandpa telling me about a forced march he'd had to do as a POW in Borneo where when they were run to an unknown place in the mountains, only for the captors to force them to be marched back again, being hounded / chased the whole way and driven to exhaustion. I've never had anything like it since, and I don't think it was supernatural, but it was a very strange and offsetting experience, and I'm not sure quite what triggered it... maybe just being more exhausted than I thought I was, or was dehydrated and had missed the signs? I've been back to that forest many times since, and it's still one of my favourite spots.

I really much agree with what the both of you said , i have so much to say but i'm overthinking again and my thoughts are blurry meses , i'll come back and edit this when i'll feel better .

Awe, hope you feel better soon - look fwd to seeing your thoughts :)
 
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